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Heather’s server is once again under a tremendous amount of strain from all the visits to her site. Thankfully, I grabbed a copy of her speech she read at Madeline’s service today. If you’re having trouble getting to her site, know that every single one of these comments will get to her as well.
Mike’s site is still running fine so please take a moment to stop by and read his touching tribute to his beautiful daughter and send him some love.
Sam xox
:::
I always wanted a daughter. When I was pregnant, I was unapologetic about this. Sure, I suppose I would have loved a boy, but I WANTED a girl. When I found out it was Madeline in my belly, I couldn’t hide my glee. Some people are afraid of girls and all the drama that can eventually surround them. I wasn’t.
My pregnancy and her birth and first few months were hard, as you all know. I prayed every day that the three strongest women I knew would watch over Maddie and give her the strength to pull through. These women, my Great Grandmother Mary, my Nana Nancy, and my grandmother Mary Alice, were the most AMAZING women you could know, and I was blessed to be related to them. I can only think that when Maddie passed they were waiting for Madeline in heaven, and are now teaching her all the things I never could.
Madeline wasn’t a normal child. She had a life that was filled with more struggle and pain than ANYONE should have to endure. But yet, you would never know it just by looking at her. She WASN’T sickly or weak. She was so incredibly strong. She was SO happy. I used to joke that someone needed to tell her about all the war and famine in the world because it wasn’t normal to be so happy. It was impossible to be upset around her. I was laid off in October, and while it stung, it was an easy thing to get over with Maddie around. I am so grateful I got to spend so much more time with her.
We did everything together. Grocery store, shopping, errands, the park. I called her my pocket side kick, because she was so little and portable. She was my partner in crime and my best buddy. She was almost embarrassingly beautiful. Everywhere we went, people would compliment her beauty – her eyes, her smile, her golden halo of curly hair. Every time someone told her she was beautiful, I would whisper in her ear, “you are more than just your looks. You are smart, you are kind, you are happy. Remember that.” I didn’t want her to get a big head. Her brains truly matched her beauty, and I’m not just saying that. It’s been independently verified by numerous developmental specialists.
All that being said, she DID like to look good. I could hold up two shirts in front of her, and she’d pick the prettiest, cheeriest outfit every time. One of my secret cheesy joys was dressing like her – and be certain, I was dressing like HER, not the other way around. She had more shoes than many adult women – seriously – and if she came across an errant shoe on the floor, she’d try to put it on her foot. She loved having her hair brushed, and had figured out how to comb her own mop of curls. I’d already braced myself for the shopping and pampering bills that were to come.
Perhaps one of my favorite things about Maddie was her sense of humor. She was becoming quite the accomplished mimic, but her sense of comic timing was already impeccable. She could make me laugh with just a glance or a movement of her shoulder. Her laugh was infectious and melodic, and the expressions she had were priceless. If it was quiet for too long, I could count on her to break the silence with a “hiiiii!” or a “woooooow” or by her favorite move, putting her fingers between her lips while making noise.
She loved everyone. She would go to anyone that wanted to hold her – and EVERYONE wanted to hold her – she even broke in some of the guys out here. Just last week, she learned how to say UP! She just loved to be held, kissed, hugged, loved. She love to GIVE kisses, hugs, and cuddles. She was so loving. A month or so ago we were on an errand to Target. With Maddie in my cart, we cruised that store in record time. As we walked by the toy section, I was overwhelmed with the desire to buy her a toy. I walked down an aisle and found a small Abby Cadabby doll (from Sesame Street). I held the doll up to Maddie and said, “Do you want this, baby?” She looked at the doll, looked at me, looked at the doll…and then the biggest smile broke out across her face. She looked at me again as if to say, “REALLY?” I said, “Take her, babe!” And she grabbed the Abby doll with both hands and started kissing it. She kissed that Abby doll every day.
She loved her dog Rigby especially. While Rigby would sometimes eye Maddie with mild suspicion (unless Maddie was eating – then Rigby was ALL ABOUT her), I was constantly amazed by her tolerance of Maddie’s “love.” Maddie had a hard time realizing that fur tugs, eye pokes, and tail pulls weren’t welcome signs of affection. But yet, Rigby never snapped at her. The last night Maddie was home, Rigby snuggled up right next to her in bed and Maddie ate it up. I am so happy Maddie had that moment with the puppy she adored.
I have a lot of things I’m sad I’ll never teach her, milestones I’ll never see her hit. The first day of kindergarten, high school, college at USC, of course. She was GOING to be a Delta Gamma like me and her Auntie Monica, and all of her other aunties in spirit. I’d say I’m sad she never went on her first date but she had so many boyfriends already. She’ll never hold a baby brother or sister, lose a tooth, be cheerleading captain and the star of the softball team. But I am lucky. I don’t have many regrets from when she was with me. I wish we’d taken her to Disneyland instead of crummy California Adventure. I wish I hadn’t kept her away from Elmo for so long, that crazy red puppet. I wish I’d taken her to the MAC makeup counter and said, “I want THAT lip color in a longwear lip glass.” But that? Is all I regret. I am so lucky.
I’ve always felt like I was a better talker than writer. When someone tells me I am a good writer I always think, “Mike is the writer, I am the talker.” But I’m having a hard time talking. I’m having a hard time writing. I’m having a hard time being. My blog started as a way to keep my family and friends informed about my pregnancy and Maddie’s NICU stay. After that, I wrote so Maddie would have a record of her life. So that someday, when she went through the awkward and unjust parts of growing up, I could say to her, “Honey, you are so tough, this is nothing compared to what you’ve already faced.” And now… Well… WE have a record of her life. If she ever has a sibling, we will be able to say “THIS is your sister.”
Through Madeline, I saw the world, and the world saw HER. She made me who I am and has given me experiences I never even dreamed of. I’ve always known my daughter is special, I knew she’d be famous and make an impact on the world. You don’t survive a hellish introduction into life for nothing, you know. And I never, EVER imagined that her passing would be how she made her mark. But I realize…her passing ISN’T how she made her mark. It was her LIFE. Her life is what touched all of you, and made you love the little girl with the big blue eyes and the gigantic grin. It is her LIFE that I hope you will all remember when you leave here today, and it is her LIFE that we should celebrate and never, ever forget.
My sun eyed girl. Little Maddie Moo. You were all we ever needed. It is an honor to be your mommy. You brought out the best in me, and made me a Mom. I am so, so lucky to have had you in my arms and in my life. I love you with all of my being.
You will always be the daughter I always wanted.
The Tribute to Our Madeline from Mike and Heather on Vimeo.
95 Responses to “My Little Maddie Moo {Heather’s Speech}”
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I love that you both know how lucky you were…and she was very lucky to be blessed with such loving, amazing parents. Much love to you both.
xo
There are tears on my cheeks. That was the most beautiful tribute, both the written and the video. There is so much love in both.
Sending you love and hugs from thousands of miles away.
xoxo
i am thinking of you constantly. my heart is heavy and there are no real words for what you are enduring. i can only hope that the outpouring of love has softened the blow a tiny bit.
xo
As I told Mike…
Your family has been in my prayers ever since half of my twitter-verse was overcome by grief last week. It didn’t take long for me to catch up, and to grieve for an adorable little girl who I’d never met.
Take care of each other.
I read this with tears running down my face. Speechless because I can’t begin to comprehend what you are going through, proud of your strength and bravery, and touched by a little girl I never met in person but who’s spirit I will feel everytime I interact with her mom, who I am grateful to have met in person.
Heather, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Mike and the rest of your family.
We all feel your loss of Maddie Moo with you.
I just can’t stop hurting for these parents.. the love they have for their daughter just shines, even during this time… I’m honored to share blog land with people like these.. and honored to share EARTH with strong people like these two..
May they be blessed with the Maddie memories that can comfort them when they need it most… and lean on one another when they need each other the most..
and lean on us.. when they need us most…
Heather, that was beautiful. You are an amazing woman, mother, talker and writer. Wish I could have been there. Luv to both of you.
I have no words except thank you
I don’t think I have anything to say that hasn’t already been said.
I’m praying for you guys and that Maddie keeps and eye on you from up above!
much love.
Tears arerunning down my face as I read this. you have been in my thoughts and prayers so much this past week and today. God bless you both..
sitting here bawling my eyes out at this beautiful tribute of maddie…. wishing I could have been able to be there to honor maddie…
you and mike are in my heart and thoughts…
love to you all…
never will forget you maddie….
sitting here bawling my eyes out at this beautiful tribute of maddie…. wishing I could have been able to be there to honor maddie…
you and mike are in my heart and thoughts…
love to you all…
never will forget you maddie….
Heather and Mike, be sure that Maddie could not have asked for better parents and that her happiness was a pure reflection of the love she felt all around her. My heart goes out to you..
Gorgeous. I am smiling through my tears. I will never remember her without a smile.
Heather -
Your tribute is so beautiful to your Maddie. The video captured Maddie’s essence and who she was. Her personality came through so clearly. Please know that you and Mike remain in my thoughts and I proudly wore my purple today in honor of your daughter.
Thank you for sharing your sweet baby girl with us.
I just know th at Great Grandmother Mary, Nana Nancy, and Grandmother Mary Alice were there to welcome the newest little angel when she came.
In the arms of the angels…
What a beautiful and loving tribute. (I think you may be a writer too.)
My thoughts are with you and your families…
For all of us saying goodbye, there are so many more saying welcome home. What a beautiful tribute to your amazing daughter. Thank you for letting us know and love her too.
I can’t bring myself to watch that video just yet. I want to pass on the same message I left for Mike, may the pain be bittersweet instead of just bitter, and when you slowly heal together, it will be with a Maddie-shaped place in your hearts.
I have no words– what is there to say after those beautiful words? What a legacy your amazing Maddie has left. I really don’t believe in angels, but if there ever was one, it was (is) her. Thinking of you so much….
Can’t. breath.
beautiful, just like maddie
What a beautiful speech and tribute. I can’t imagine the pain you are enduring, but I know Madeline can never be forgotten. You can’t have that much heaven on earth without it making it’s mark. Mike and Heather and Madeline are in our prayers.
Lisa H. A. has told me lots about Maddie. Thanks to both of you for sharing Maddie with the world, and thank you Maddie, for changing the world. Blessings to your baby angel.
Perfection.
[...] Edit I’m done. I can’t stop crying. [...]
I wish I had words.
You’re so brave Heather and your love for Maddie is so big.
How truly wonderful that you can say you have no regrets! If only we could all live that way.
You are so right that it was her life that impacted all of us. Have no doubts that Maddie will live on in our hearts.
OMG. Just came back to watch the video. I’m in tears. Amazing tribute. You guys blessed her with a lot of love. She was a lucky girl.
What a blessed child to have two parents who loved her so much. What blessed parents to have a daughter who was sunshine and love. Thank you for sharing your amazing baby with us all.
Wishing you strength and love.
Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Please know that the beautiful life of an amazing little girl (whom I never knew) has touched mine. I celebrate her life. I will remember her life.
Beautiful.
Sending all my love to you. Praying God takes care of you and holds you close to his heart!
Thank you for sharing your precious daughter.
I went to the funeral of one of my best friends when I was in high school. She was probably the best, sweetest, brightest – the one out of all of us we felt *least* deserved to die… I know that doesn’t make sense – but I remember feeling like that. At her service, the pastor said “she was an angel on earth.. she taught us the lessons we were supposed to learn from her – and God took her home. The rest of us haven’t achieved that place in our lives yet.” Maddie taught us to appreciate many things – to be happy always… To spread joy, to laugh – and to care.
I am probably just rambling and I’m sorry. This was beautifully written, Heather. I celebrate Maddie’s life and I’m glad she had the perfect Mommy.
What a beautiful tribute to your amazing daughter.
Sending you love and prayers of comfort. {hugs}
I am so sorry.
I wish more than anything I could take your pain away – along with all of ours that has lost a child. Your tribute was beautiful – I wish so much that I had the strength of character to have been so strong, so much a mom, to endure this as you have.
I followed your pregnancy while I was on hospital bedrest, I followed Maddie through her NICU journey while my daughter went through hers. You tthought me how to be a NICU mom – what to expect both good times and bad.
Please know that Maddie will forever be missed – watching your tribute I realized that Maddie had done more in her lifetime than some adults – you allowed her to live life to it’s fullest.
I don’t have many pictures of my children (and even less with me in them) – I’m not a photographer but you have inspired me to go out and buy a camera and document my children’s lives – the pictures of Maddie and your and Mike’s absolute joy and happiness in them being her parents will live on forever.
If I could see you I would give you a huge hug and tell you that I know your pain but that you and Mike are two of the strongest people I know but that it sucks so much to be so strong right now.
Please, please, please take care of yourselves.
Maddie is beautiful – I am so sorry.
Wiping the tears away as I pray that God will continue to bless you both as he how holds your dear baby Maddie in his loving hands.
Oh, my. Beyond words here…that was so beautiful.
You, your family, and Maddie are in the thoughts and hearts of more than you know.
Lovely.
I’m so deeply sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I love how you spoke about how lucky you feel for not regretting anything about the too-short time you had with your Maddie. That is so beautiful and strong and inspiring. Thinking of you and Mike from afar. Feeling your grief and your love for your beautiful girl in the air, all the way over here in Canada….
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl. God bless you Heather and Mike.
Beautiful tribune to a beautiful girl! She was so lucky to have you….
Thoughts and prayers lifted for you and your family.
[...] little girl on his blog. Heather’s speech, which she evidently delivered at the service, is posted here. They are both devastating. Read them, but get the tissues before [...]
what an incredible child.
I am so very sorry., your husband and your beautiful daughter Maddie have been in my heart all week. I cannot stop crying as I write this and I want to say thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute.
I never knew of your family or Maddie until just the other day. I found out about you through Twitter.
I just want you to know that in the 11 minutes or so that I watched that video, your precious little Maddie’s smile has been imprinted on my heart forever. It’s one I’ll never forget.
My thoughts and prayers are with both Heather and Mike and all of those who were blessed to know sweet Maddie.
Such a wonderful tribute. Your words brought tears but you can’t help but smile when you see Maddie in that video. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I’ve never met you, but my heart aches for you. What a wonderful tribute to your daughter. Your family is in my prayers.
Heather– I don’t even know you but I can’t stop thinking about you, Mike, and your little Maddie. She was just the prettiest little girl, and her personality shines bright through your photos and videos. You are so brave and such an outstanding mother to your little girl. I hope you find some comfort in your sweet memories, but I know your heart must be broken into a million pieces. May you heal with time and keep constant your love for Maddie. Watched your video twice—brought to tears x2. Stay strong and know that people around the country have you and Mike in our thoughts and prayers. xoxo.
Heather and Mike, you are truly amazing people.
My heart is breaking for you & your husband & everyone who ever laid eyes on your darling girl. Your words are amazing, you ARE a writer! Maddie is looking down on you, hating you’re so sad, but still smiling at her mommy & daddy. Like you said, she is keeping good company in heaven now, she is waiting for you to get on with your life as you see fit. I really appreciate you sharing your live & loss with us. You can do anything you dream of, and keep her memory alive always thru your actions & love.
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. “Which road do I take?” she asked. “Where do you want to go?” was his response. “I don’t know,” Alice answered. “Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”
That video is beyond beautiful. What courageous parents to love a little girl so much. And to honour her in that way – she was a tremendously happy and lucky girl. I have learned so much in observing Mike and Heather’s grace and open-heartedness.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I pray that God will give you the strength to make it through this tragedy. Sending warm thoughts to you and your family.
We are all lucky to have known anything of Maddie and your family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time, and forever. Truly.
this was such a perfect tribute to Maddie, Heather. perfect. thank you for sharing your words with us, and sharing your maddie moo with us too. she was such a special little girl.
hugs from the entire martell family.
her bright smile and eyes are unforgettable. i am truly sorry for your loss, but yours and your husband’s tributes are remarkably beautiful – thank you for sharing your story. her life will be remembered – and treasured by so many.
What a beautiful, beautiful tribute to your little angel, Maddie Moo. Your writing and video have captured the spirit of a mother’s limitless love so perfectly. I wish I could have been with you today to celebrate Maddie’s life. Peace and love to you, Mike and your families.
My heart breaks for you. I found your link through Matt and Maddy’s blog and am stunned by the loss of your beautiful, captivating, precious little girl. Just as Matt’s loss of Liz has taught me to appreciate my husband more, your family has taught me to appreciate my children more. Thank you.
Oh Heather. That was such a beautiful tribute to your Maddie. She was so lucky to have you and Mike as her parents (that picture of him holding her with his hand on his forehead and his eyes closed was priceless!). The love you to have for her is immeasurable. Thank you for sharing her life with us. Sending love your way…
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. Your daughter is such a beautiful child. She really, really is. She has touched so many people, it is so amazing. I don’t know what else to say except you are an incredible mom, and a brave and a strong mom. And I’m so so sorry. God bless you all.
Thanks so much for sharing your special moments with Maddie. She was a special angel.
Thank-you.
Maddie was just as lucky to have you and Mike for parents as you guys were to have her. She will always be an incredible wonderful girl.
Just beautiful. I wish you peace and blessings….
You were very blessed. You are all in my prayers. What a blessing she was to those around her. God bless, susieqtpie on twitter
Wow. I’ll never understand why God takes the good, the innocent. Maddie was a blessing, what a smile, and those eyes! May God give you the strength to continue on your journey through life. May he bless you with more beautiful children in the years to come. May her memory always give you hope, strength and patience.
I’ve been thinking about you all day. Wishing you peace. All of you.
Beautiful. Heather and Mike, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you both. God Bless you Maddie.
[...] Madeline’s memorial was today. Her daddy and mommy both wrote the most beautiful tributes to Miss Maddie. And of course a wonderful video. She was so [...]
I feel like wearing purple every day for the rest of my life. I hope you find peace one day. You are amazing, brave and strong.
Bawling. Snotty. Teary. Hyperventilating. Loving you. Thank you for letting us be a part of her life, even if it was through your blog. Thank you for sharing such a sacred and heartwrenching day with us. The video is beautiful. Love that she was the same size as the box of fries! Much love you guys…much, much, much love.
we are truly moved by such a beautiful tribute to maddie.
my family and I embrace you from a far.
gerri domingo and family
Weeping like a baby after reading your tribute and Mike’s. I wanted to wear purple today but couldn’t find anything. All I have to offer are prayers and tears and maybe a little something for the March of Dimes. And never-ending hugs for my baby daughter Frannie and for you from afar.
Thank you for sharing your love, your lives and your beautiful daughter with all of us. Maddie makes us want to reach out and love just a little more.
What an amazing tribute. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. My heart is so heavy but when I see Madeline’s beautiful smile and sparkling eyes it brings a smile to my face. It’s truly evident how much difference one person can make. You and Mike are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Jennifer Harris
Thank you for sharing beautiful Maddie’s story… Maddie, you and Mike are truly inspirations! I am a better person for reading your words. thank you. May the pure light within you guide your way on! LOVE TO YOU!
Hey sweet girl. Just like you had the daughter you always wanted, Maddie had exactly the parents she needed. The delight you three share as a family is evident in every picture, every post. You’re right, she did shine throughout her life, and you saw every sparkle. And you noticed, and you cherished, and you loved. And I’m so glad for you, and so sorry. Love to your family.
This is beautiful. So very touching.
My thoughts are with your family.
Words seem awfully inadequate right now.
What a beautiful, wonderful and amazing daughter you have.
Thank you for sharing her.
For making me laugh and cry.
May you find peace, comfort and strength.
Much love to you all.
Heather, my constant thoughts are with you guys …. from the other side of the world. After reading your words I am absolutely speechless. You and your Mike are too amazing for words. Your daughter sounds adorable and inspirational. I am gutted for your lose. Words don’t seem enough right now. Pain and sorrow are probably the hardest emotions we are dealt. Please please please take care and look after yourself.
You and Maddie were blessed to have each other. This is beautiful reminder to appreciate my own daughters each day and take nothing for granted. My heart is absolutely broken for you and your family. My thoughts are with you.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your sweet and beautiful little girl. I don’t think there’s a single person who’s read about her that she didn’t touch deeply. *hugs*
I’m glad someone copied this over, because I’d read it via feed last night and found the site itself unavailable.
I just wanted to say that this was a great speech, with an admirably brave, upbeat tone that’s worth its own tears. I couldn’t imagine a better tribute under the circumstances, and when I read Mike’s I found that you’re definitely two of a kind. You’re lucky to have chosen each other so well, and I hope you get through this toughest of phases (I can only imagine) as quickly as possible.
my heart hurts.
so many similarities between our babies. claire was 4 weeks older and 9 oz. heavier. during the video montage i saw the same pullovers, poses, and heard the same songs we’ve used to document our baby’s life. i will hold her closer tonight.
Heater and Mike that was beautiful and im so sorry for your loss, as a mum of three your loss is unimaginable and painful, stay strong and united love from the king family and many more from australia, Maddie made a huge impression on all of us and we will be remembering that great big smile for years to come… Heather you inspire me to do better and to be more……..Mike the love between a father and his daughter is one of the most beautiful sights to see………Oh and her daddy loved her…………….R.I.P Maddie Moo………
I cannot even begin to comprehend what you must be going through without her, as I ache without her, too, and I never even got to meet her. She is such a blessing to us all. My heart weeps with you and Mike. I am truly so very sorry for your loss.
I was sobbing as I watched this beautiful tribute to your precious daughter and sobbing as I write this. Actually, every time I think of her I am filled with a deep sorrow and my heart breaks for you guys. I want to thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life with the world. It has made me cherish my boys and every day we have together. I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy you have so many wonderful memories with this little angel. Maddie… I hope you know what an impact you have made in my life. I miss you and I don’t even know you. What a sweet baby you are!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. May she be wrapped in the warmth of Angels and watch over you forever. Your written and video tributes were so very touching.
Heather,
I think of you and Mike often and – of course – your beautiful Maddie. I just got home from Mom’s Nite Out where we shared with one another our thoughts on motherhood and what it has meant to each of us. At the end of the night, I said goodbye to the many moms in the room and wished each one of them a Happy Mother’s Day.
I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day as well. You will always be Maddie’s mom and I will always remember you when I think about life and how precious our time here truly is. Your speech was so touching and I thank you for sharing so much of Maddie with us. Her life and her death will not be forgotten.
love & hugs to you and your family.
Sondra
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[...] my life in a way I cannot comprehend. (To read Heather’s speech at the service, visit this link. To read the Washington Post article, go here) The loss of a child is one of the hardest blows any [...]
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